Diotrephes and Demetrius
3 John 9–14
I wrote to the assembly, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, doesn’t accept what we say. Therefore, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words. Not content with this, he doesn’t receive the brothers himself, and those who would, he forbids and throws out of the assembly. Beloved, don’t imitate that which is evil, but that which is good. He who does good is of God. He who does evil hasn’t seen God. Demetrius has the testimony of all, and of the truth itself; yes, we also testify, and you know that our testimony is true. I had many things to write to you, but I am unwilling to write to you with ink and pen; but I hope to see you soon. Then we will speak face to face. Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.
World English Bible
John hangs two portraits side by side and lets us look. The first is Diotrephes, and his entire biography fits in four devastating words: he "loves to be first." Not loves Christ. Not loves the church. Loves the front. And look what first-place love does to a man: he rejects apostolic authority, spreads "wicked words" against John, refuses to welcome the traveling brothers, blocks anyone who would welcome them, and throws resisters out of the church. Every move serves one agenda: control. Here is the unbearable irony: Diotrephes is almost certainly a church leader, perhaps the most committed man in the congregation. His sin doesn't look like scandal. It looks like diligence. Pride wearing a robe is still pride, and a church can be damaged as much by an ego in the pulpit as by heresy at the door.
The second portrait is Demetrius, and it is only one verse long, because humility never needs many words: he "has the testimony of all, and of the truth itself; yes, we also testify." Three witnesses (the community, the truth, the apostles) agree about this man. He sought no platform, and his character became one anyway. Reputation chased him because he wasn't chasing it.
Between the portraits, John turns to Gaius, and to us: "Beloved, don't imitate that which is evil, but that which is good." That word imitate quietly tells the truth about how human beings are formed: we become like what we watch. Spiritual formation is largely imitation, which is why it matters enormously whose life you're studying. Stare long enough at the Diotrephes pattern (self-promotion, image management, keeping rivals down) and it starts to feel normal, even necessary. Behold the Demetrius pattern, and something else begins forming in you.
Then John adds the line that should stop every ambitious heart: "He who does good is of God. He who does evil hasn't seen God." A man can hold office in the church and never have laid eyes on its Lord. The question the two portraits press on us is simple: which one is your life slowly becoming a copy of?
Reflect
- Where does the love of being first show up in me (needing credit, managing my image, bristling when overlooked), even in spiritual settings?
- Whose life am I actually imitating right now (whose patterns am I absorbing through attention and admiration), and is that forming Christ in me?
- If three witnesses spoke about my character (my community, the truth, and those who know me best), what would their combined testimony say?
Pray
Ask God to search you for the Diotrephes instinct (the love of being first), and confess specifically where you've protected position instead of people. Thank Him for the Demetrius figures in your life, the quietly faithful whose testimony is good, and consider telling one of them so. Pray that Christ, not control, would be what your life is slowly becoming a copy of.